The Game of Golf, I Mean Life

clubs=talents
golf=life
holes=arguments
round=lifetime
bunker=earth

Wow
Life has rules.
Fourteen talents are the maximum allowed in one player's bag. Any number below 14 is fine, but more than 14 is not. Also, those 14 talents cannot be changed during the course of one lifetime. You must finish with the 14 you started with. However, if you begin with fewer than 14, you may add talents during a lifetime as long as no delay is caused and as long as the talent(s) added are not borrowed from another player. There's a penalty for breaking the 14 talent rule but I'll leave that to your imagination. Now aren't you glad you know this. Just in case.

Keeping Your Bag Filled
Make sure you start with 14 talents if you intend to play a game called “Pick Up Sticks” with your life partner. It seems that in this “game” your opponent can take away one of your talents (probably your favorite) if he wins the argument. And you can’t use that talent for the rest of the game. They say you’ll learn how to play more creatively because you’ll have to play with what you have which may not be the appropriate talent. In life, players should carefully fill up and smooth over all arguments, the messy footprints made by them and any nearby made by others before leaving earth. Also, any damage to relationships caused by life’s woes, any arguments caused by them and any damage to relationships made by the impact of these obstacles (whether or not made by the player himself) should be repaired. In any case, players should avoid causing damage to the course by removing obstacles when taking practice swings or when hitting your life partner’s talents into the ground, whether in anger or for any other reason. If a goal is within reasonable proximity, the putter should be used for this purpose. Try your best not to damage the earth when putting down your bag.

Play Nicely Now
Players should not stand too close to each other and should take care during an argument. The head of anything should not be used to remove anything from your partner. Don’t lean on your talents when arguing, particularly when removing your partner’s talents from the argument. Replace the nastiness in the argument before leaving the room. Local notices regulating your movements should and will be strictly observed.

The Full Monte
Three Talent Monte in life means that you get to pick just three talents to use during your lifetime. Of course, it really should be called Four Talent Monte because you are also allowed to use your putter in addition to the three you’ve chosen. But you cannot change your mind! They say it’s a good game to play in order to learn and practice half-shots, knock-downs and so forth. Whatever they are.

And what, may I ask, in life, is a putter? I think I need one.